In English class (AP Lit, btw) we need to write an argumentative essay about how we believe either classical literature or contemporary literature should be taught.
(Of course, I’m pulling for Classical. I used Winnie-the-Pooh, 1984, Flowers for Algernon, and Fahrenheit 451 as my evidence for classical literature being better.)
So, I was letting the teacher read mine, and I started to read a girl’s essay. (She asked me to.)
First, I noticed that she wrote like my friend, Stoner.
Stilted and using words out of context every other sentence. That put me off a bit.
Then I glanced through their citations, and every single citation was a bible verse.
I just kind of stared before trying to read some of her argument.
She said that the bible wasn’t filled with senseless violence.
I just handed it back to her with a saccharine smile.
“Did you like it?” She asked, in her hyper-chipper voice.
No. Have you even READ the bible? I will never, EVER think that book will hold ANYTHING that makes up for “kill your son. LOL PSYCHE,” “Rape and pillage … now I am forcing you to kill you daughter!” and don’t forget
If you rape a lady, you gotta pay her daddy and then marry her.
Aesop had better morals than the bible, and that was nothing but animals running around.
so, of course I said “Too much bible for me :)”
and she looked crestfallen. “But, I did it on the bible!”