In English class (AP Lit, btw) we need to write an argumentative essay about how we believe either classical literature or contemporary literature should be taught.

(Of course, I’m pulling for Classical. I used Winnie-the-Pooh, 1984, Flowers for Algernon, and Fahrenheit 451 as my evidence for classical literature being better.)

So, I was letting the teacher read mine, and I started to read a girl’s essay. (She asked me to.)

 First, I noticed that she wrote like my friend, Stoner.

Stilted and using words out of context every other sentence. That put me off a bit.

 Then I glanced through their citations, and every single citation was a bible verse.

I just kind of stared before trying to read some of her argument.

She said that the bible wasn’t filled with senseless violence.

I just handed it back to her with a saccharine smile. 

“Did you like it?” She asked, in her hyper-chipper voice.

No. Have you even READ the bible? I will never, EVER think that book will hold ANYTHING that makes up for “kill your son. LOL PSYCHE,” “Rape and pillage … now I am forcing you to kill you daughter!”  and don’t forget 

 If you rape a lady, you gotta pay her daddy and then marry her.

no.

Aesop had better morals than the bible, and that was nothing but animals running around.

so, of course I said “Too much bible for me :)”

and she looked crestfallen. “But, I did it on the bible!” 

I said “If you’re really Jesus, wear black star earrings!”

 And there was a flash of light, and he was wearing black star earrings.

 and I was like

“oh.

…

cool.”

Not “ohhmeeegeee I want to get with my teacher he’s so cuuute”

no. He’s 60 and fat and looks like a mole.

 But, “I wish this guy was my grandfather!” and “I feel as if this person has faith in me.”

 I have been thinking lately about how I’m in the closet about so many things, and I would feel really sad because, you know, I’m inside a closet inside a closet. Inside a closet.

 So I told him what the assistant principal at my own school told me (short form: you’re wasting your time being a geneticist for humans, ‘cause you can’t perfect what god made!), and he just made a disgusted face and replied with, “So, we should just step back and let everyone die of cancer.” 

 So I slid into the chair next to his desk and just posed the statement that I didn’t understand how science and religion could co-exist.

 and god damn it, he was the first person to actually make sense

I’ve heard people say that there are branches of Christianity that don’t believe in the literal-translation of the bible, but he was the first person to ever tell me that he was a Catholic … but he didn’t believe that Noah had an ark, he didn’t believe that Moses parted the Red Sea, he didn’t believe that Jesus walked on water. 

My eyes got really big, and I just blurted out, “You don’t even know how much I love you.”

 We talked about it for a bit, and I ended up just blurting out really quickly “and that’s why I’m an atheist.” 

 And he just smiled and didn’t make a big deal.

I ended up sitting next to my mother’s cousin and his wife. They had two children and they are expecting another one. I think the oldest one just started kindergarten. (What’s the point of having so many children so close together?!)

 It didn’t start out well,

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At my old school, there was an annual bible fair. Nothing big, really. Every student had to create one bible themed display. 

(And, I never remember anyone not doing it. It was a big deal.)

Dear lord the nepotism ran rampant. 

Only the people who won thought it was fair. Honestly, some people had pretty nice displays, but they never won anything other than “honorable mention.”

But, that’s not really why I wrote this.

Someone made a display about how humans and dinosaurs lived together.

really.

I understand I went to a Christian school, and that I shouldn’t expect better,

but a kid made a display about how dinosaurs and humans coexisted.

So, no one in my family really knows that I hate Christians and Christianity and the whole thing.

Well, just listening to kids talking about how much they enjoyed being baptised made me want to yell at someone.

When I was that boy’s age, I was watching Bill Nye the Science Guy and learning about science. He’s being indoctrinated into a faith that makes me sick on every level.

(If being raised by the TV has any benefits, it’s getting to see Bill Nye the Science guy.

Science is the key to our future, and if you don’t believe in science, then you’re holding everybody back. And it’s fine if you as an adult want to run around pretending or claiming that you don’t believe in evolution, but if we educate a generation of people who don’t believe in science, that’s a recipe for disaster. We talk about the Internet. That comes from science. Weather forecasting. That comes from science. The main idea in all of biology is evolution. To not teach it to our young people is wrong.

Honestly, if it wasn’t for the Discovery Channel, Animal Planet, and Bill Nye, I probably would be a completely different person.)

rainyrealms:

maeblythe:

maeblythe:

““Well it’s definitely all symbolic of Christianity. The world is falling into shambles and so God sends Light, who’s supposed to be Christ to save it. L is an atheist who is trying to prove that Christ is a fake, Ryuk is supposed to be like Satan, and Mello and Matt are supposed…

Oh, I never met the person who said it. Someone had submitted a story that included that quote to weeaboo stories.

 (And, the whole point was “1) Most Japanese are atheists. 2) That’s not how the bible works.”)

FKLSJFDFHDJKSFS ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT RENAISSANCE ARTWORK AND 20/21ST CENTURY KITSCH ISN’T CANON?

I think I feel faint…

I don’t know if that’s sarcasm or not.

but it ended with “god bless” so I forgot the moral and just got angry at the writer. 

When a guy is insecure about how small his man-parts are, he overcompensates in by buying cars. When he’s insecure about how straight he is, he overcompensates by talking about all the girls he was totally just nailing.

So, there’s this girl at school. She’s a sweet girl and has invited me to church before.

 (As I explained to her friend “I’ve done almost everything that your church website says is bad. Why would you want me there?”)

 I’m really the kind of person who gets offended by people praying at school. I know that religious freedom means that they can religion it up all over the place, but I also want religious freedom to mean that I don’t have to see something that made me so miserable for so long. I don’t tell her that because she’s just such a nice girl, and I’m trying to be as low profile as possible at her school.

She says things like this:

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